Timothy hated Gloria. He hated the way she always folded her dinner napkin three times when she got up to go to the restroom. He hated the noise her flip flops made against their linoleum kitchen floor. He hated the long wavy red hairs left in his tub after her shower. But there was nothing he could do about it. He loved Janna, his wife of 7 years, and Gloria was her best friend. So when Gloria lost her savings in a ridiculous scheme to sell disposable purses online, she moved in with the couple & Timothy was stuck.
The original plan was for Gloria to stay for a week or so - until she could find a real job & get back on her feet. But weeks turned into months, and now Gloria had been smelling up the guest bedroom for the better part of a year. Timothy had had enough. He stopped being polite, stopped tip-toeing around the issue and told Gloria that she needed to get out. She was ruining his lifestyle, his marriage, and that he didn't care what she did to make money. Gloria could go be a prostitute for all he cared, as long as it got her out from under his roof.
This suggestion didn't sit well with Gloria or with Janna. Their anger fueled Timothy even more. He left and stayed with his best bud Paul for 2 weeks. Upon his return, he expected to see Gloria gone and his house back to normal. When that wasn't the case, Timothy flew off the handle. On his weekly trip with Paul to the local Waffle House, he let the world know, in writing, exactly what he thought of Gloria: She could drink his ball sweat.
Paul, thinking the message was for him, declined the offer.
1 comments:
my favorite part is the very last line. laughed out loud at work.
Post a Comment