Tara Got a New Job

Me: I didn't realize you were serious about getting a hostessing job until Becky told me you were starting tonight.

Tara: Wish me luck. I have visions of tripping and landing on an old lady, she has a heart attack and goes into cardiac arrest. Her grandson who kindly took her out to eat and was suppose to be my soul mate hates me because I've killed his grandmother. Then his father, the lawyer, sues me for being a ditz and a clutz. Then my soul mate's aunt (the beloved only daughter of the grandmother) who I was suppose to meet at Christmas and who was going to offer me a sweet, cushy job...testifies against me that her mother had a presence that no one could ignore. Which is ridiculous because if that were true then I would have noticed the wee Italian lady and never have fallen on her!!!!!

Me: I'm sure you'll do really well. I think you're lithe enough that if you fell on an old lady, she would only have a minor bruise, not a heart attack. So even if your soul mate's mother does sue you, she can't say that you took away her mother's spirit - because an old lady with spunk like that can't have her charismatic presence spoiled by a little bruise. Plus, I'm sure that the grandmother put way too much pressure on your future mother-in-law when she was a debutante - so she's probably happy to see someone who's not afraid to give Granny a dose of her own medicine. No one has ever stood up to that old bag before - they'll all respect you for it & you'll probably end up with a bigger portion of her estate than the grandson you marry.